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A student once asked me why I love Jesus. Once I overcame the shock that a student would actually be curious enough to wonder that, I blurted out the Sunday School answer: because HE first loved ME.
As the student digested that and began responding, my mind kept mulling over my answer… was that REALLY the reason? Can I base a world-view altering, life-changing, foundational framework of my existence on the belief that Jesus, acting preemptively, gave his life for mine for the slim chance that I would accept it?
It’s such a simple statement on the surface: I love him because he first loved me; but I believe John understood it’s depth when he wrote it.
Have you ever really tried to do something proactive? Like make a decision or make a statement and risk putting yourself out there, without having anything but belief and maybe some luck to catch you?
I’ve tried that. I suck at it. It seems that without fail, my proactive choices backfire on me. And on others.
My personality is much more reactive. In martial arts, this means I defend and wait for my oponent to show a weakness. In school, this meant I would cover myself for any contingent that the professor was proven to throw at us on exam day. At work, I accept responsibilities and make them happen. In life, this means I accept the input of multiple sources on decisions.
Because A. I’m usually wrong. And B. It’s a tremendous risk to act proactively. (Google ‘Bush Preemptive Strike Iraq’ if you need more proof)
The problem is that it’s a fundamental trait of a true leader to make proactive decisions.
So, wow. When I really think into Jesus’ ultimate preemptive move with his work on the Cross; it boggles my mind. It drives me to my knees. The weight of grace overcomes me.
And to think: it’s such a simple thought. Because he first loved me.

I want to feel needed. I think as humans, we all desire to be needed. To feel useful; maybe even depended on. A root of relationships can be the joy of knowing someone leans on us for support. Then we can say “I am not a purposeless human being.”

However.

Two thoughts.

A. In Christ, we are complete. United with our Creator, we lack nothing. We do not need another to validate our existence. Our hearts are held safe in Him. Is it a selfish desire to want another individual human to rely on me to any extent rather than the One who can truly satisfy every need? Yes
And if we truly desire the well-being of another, why would we want them to depend on any other than the One who can carry them through any trial? A reality I personally am struggling with.

2. As much as I would selfishly desire to be the one that is turned to in need, God desires us to turn to Him. ONLY Him. What is His cry from the prophets’ lips? “Turn to me. I am here. You will never seek or lack anything again; as I am your complete refuge.”
The message of the Old Testament could be summed up in this: God will never fail those who put their trust in Him. All of their trust.

How deep is my faith? Strong enough for me to lean solely on God? Strong enough for me to let those I love lean solely on God?

Wow. How much I have to learn.

I’m watching The Office season 2. The Boose Cruise episode.

The skinny: Dwight annoys the ship’s captain. The captain takes him to the front deck helm thing place and puts him at the fake wheel they let kids play on. Dwight pilots the ship for over an hour there until Michael shouts, “It’s a fake wheel, Dummy!”

How often do I think I’m actually the one piloting my life? That I retain any semblance of control?

I wonder how often God tries to yell “It’s a fake wheel!” to me. Or maybe just allows me to play on the fake wheel for a while. While He steers my life safely through the storms. And the calm.

Every weekend, millions of people walk into and out of a church. While their experiences and expectations are always different, unfortunately, many of them walk away with one thing in common.

Their spiritual hunger is satisfied.

They have gone “deep” enough.

And that’s the end of it.

And it makes me sick.

God’s plan for a “church service”? To get people excited about what comes next. What western culture calls “church” should be just the appetizer. A teaser trailer. A sample to get you hungering for more.

Church really happens after “church.” When people who look like Christ go out into their communities and live differently for God. When they experience personal life change through self-feeding. When they intentionally represent Christ to their neighbors. When they “do for the least of these”.

This is church.

Thoughts?

They say it takes 2 weeks of doing something intentionally before it ingrains itself as a habit. Well, here we are a little over 3 weeks into the new year, and I want to share a few things that I’ve adopted as my new beneficial habits.

5. Watching at least 1 episode of The Office each day. Laughter is good for the body and soul.

4. Doing a short PX90 style workout a couple times a week. I’ve been out of it too long.

3. Getting back into reading some incredible fiction books that got me into loving reading in the first place.

2. Being a better, less selfish friend. Well… ok. Still working on this one.

1. North Point prayer journal. Reading plan 4 every morning. I’ve been loving it.

Yep, just a few things that have made 2010 start off right. Should be a good year.